Fuck appropriateness.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He did a backflip because drugs
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
