Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
