i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
