well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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