is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
