Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
