you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
