Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
