really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
