I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
