yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
