I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
vagina is talking i cant
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
