he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just blew my weed a kiss
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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