I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
