So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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