Your mouth is God's brothel.
I faked an abortion last night.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
At least life still wants to fuck me.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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