Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
