After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I have tasted many bathrooms
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
