I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
