Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
