I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
