I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
