He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
