you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
