So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
