So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
