just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
