In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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