I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Found the puke drawer
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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