dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
