Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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