how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
