now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
