Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
