Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
