that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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