He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I have feelings that need drinking.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
