please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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