My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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