No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
