I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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