No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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