East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
