She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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