HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
