Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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