i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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