3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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