Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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