It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
